The Lie: No, actually, I didn’t think your babysitter’s top was “cute.”

The Truth: I thought it was incredibly cute. I just don’t like the idea of my impressionable young daughter thinking it was cute. At her age, “cute” should comprise little more than baby ducks and Hello Kitty merchandise.

Also, I don’t care for her use of the word “top.” She’s eight – it’s a shirt. Women only refer to it as a “top” in contexts with vaguely sexual overtones, as when preparing for a night out in which they anticipate having alcohol purchased for them by men. It is my fervent hope that my daughter is never a participant in any such conversation.