The Lie: If you don’t bother the bee, it won’t sting you.

The Truth: Nobody ever “bothers” bees, but people get stung all the time. Who ever sets out to deliberately antagonize a bee? Not even my kids are that dense.

Bees, on the other hand, have been deliberately antagonizing me my entire life. They sting me constantly, for no good reason whatsoever, and without any warning or provocation. The whole of beedom apparently has some misguided vendetta against me. For my kids’ sake, I hope it dies when I do.

I also hope said death won’t come by bee swarm. But it wouldn’t surprise me at this point.