The Lie: I don’t care what grades you get, as long as you tried your hardest.

The Truth: I desperately care what grades they get.  It’s vitally important that they excel in school and go to an excellent college, where they major in either business or some advanced field of science (and avoid the humanities at all cost).  The future success and affluence of my children is my sole retirement plan.

With each report card that comes home, I grow more and more resigned to my impending destitution.