26 June 2012

The Lie: If a stranger offers you candy, don’t take it. They might be trying to hurt you.

The Truth: Nobody who’s genuinely trying to hurt you is going to offer you candy. It’s become such a pedophile cliché that no practicing pedophile would be caught dead doing it in this day and age. Same idea with the windowless van – it’s too sketchy to even be sketchy anymore. Anyone driving a windowless van and offering you candy is apparently so blissfully unaware of the connotations of his behavior that he’s probably as trustworthy as any stranger you’re going to find. Go ahead, hop in the van and take the candy. That way I don’t have to pick you up or buy you a snack.


  1. KaraNova says:

    lol! thats probably true but i dont think ill be telling my kids that!

  2. Daisy says:

    Sooo…. your theory is that pedophiles are too sketchy to act sketchy anymore? They’ve transcended sketchiness?

  3. Chuck R says:

    Never should’ve gotten rid of my old windowless van. Didn’t realize there would ever come a day when it lost its creepiness.

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